Parenthood sounds fun, doesn’t it? Having kids, playing with them, nicknaming them, cuddling with them, showering them with all your love and a lot more fun right? However, the reality is that parenthood is far beyond than just being “Fun”. Meanwhile there is a huge demand for perfection in parenting these days.
You have responsibilities when you are parenting and that too are not just a few but many. You have to change the way you used to live and this change is inevitable.
Undoubtedly your life takes a totally upside down turn when you become a parent. It’s a change which is completely novel to you. No matter how many people are there to share their experiences with you, you still have to wait for your experience with time.
There are few things which you may learn from others but many are there which you will learn with time only.
But there is a a problem with parenting for the first time or even later on too. People form a belief that you should become the “Perfect Parent.” Now I tell you that there is absolutely no such thing as perfection. Perfection in parenting is an unachievable goal trust me.
If you too are dealing with this “Perfect Parent” trap , I suggest you go dive in and read the advices below to cheer yourself up.
Fresher as a Parent ? No issues.
Now isn’t is wierd if I ask you to shoot a perfect goal on the very first day of your football practice? Or If I ask you to make the first meal cooked by you the best meal I ever had. You will judge my sensibility won’t you ?
The society should understand that how can a person be perfect who is a parent for the first time. Perfection comes with practice and practice comes with maximum time devoted to it.
Slowly and steadily when the parents starts spending time with the child he/she starts understanding the child. Also, he gets a hold of the responsibilities he has to fulfil and resulting which the parents gets perfection in parenting.
Escape judgements.
Even when the child grows up and you spent reasonable time with the child, still the society starves for perfection from you.
They will be judging you every now and then for how your kid behaves. Any action of your child has a direct linkage to how you have grown him up.
You need to stand up and strictly avoid such judgements. It is you, who better knows what morals you have instilled in your child and not others. Those people are not always in your house to look after the good and bad traits of your child. Even if you hear them just don’t let them house in your head. Just have faith in your upbringing.
Close your ears to comparisons.
Strictly close your ears to,” If I were in your shoes then I would have done this for the betterment of my child.” All this is nothing but crap.
Trust me, no one is ever going to be in your shoes. You and only you are the sailor of your ship. Now, whether the ship sinks or it floats to the shore the credit is going to be yours. Which means that you have the authority to pick that in what way are you going to raise your child. Whatever the results will be in future the credit would be solely yours.
Don’t let anyone make comparisons with you. There is this quote that “Do not compare your chapter three with someone others chapter thirty three.”
Don’t welcome unsolicited advices.
People are really quick to judge and present an advice these days. When its about parenting then people very easily begin with advising you even if you haven’t asked for it.
Now what to do? The person who is advising may be someone you can’t cut in between. Here you can simply listen until the other person finishes and then don’t react much on the subject.
A warm thankyou would be enough and then set some boundaries respectfully. Your answer could be like,” I am more than happy that you are so concerned but I feel I can take care of it in my own ways.” See, no one should guide you on how should you “Parent” your children.
Forgive yourself.
The phases to reach to perfection in parenting are a never ending one. You can’t declare at any particular phase that now I am well trained as a parent.
In every other phase you may commit mistakes. To err is to human after all. Sometimes, even you may repeat the same mistakes. So what, learn from them and forgive yourself. Remember, don’t be harsh on yourself because you are still learning.
But then again it is your journey. Make it beautiful rather than making it perfect.
Seek out for help.
Many of the parents hesitate in asking out for help. There is a continuous fear of judgement and being tagged again for not being the perfect parent. But there is no harm in seeking out for help.
It is obvious that you may need help of your well wishers many times when you are not able to handle the responsibilities alone. Whenever you need assistance, ask for it. You can reach out to your parents, in laws, siblings and friends having kids.
Remember always ask for advice when you truly need it and not when the other person just wants to give it.
Work without pressure.
Pressurising yourself while striving for perfection in is the worst you can do to both yourself and your child. It is not any competition and neither you are going to win or loose. It is about your and your child’s whole life.
Do not let anyone pressurise you. Parenting is not something that can get enhanced when pressurised. Instead it should be practiced and dealt with softness and extreme care.
Parting words !
At the end, I would like to conclude with a quote “There are no perfect parents, and there are no perfect children, but there are plenty of perfect moments along the way.”
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