A serious disease has an impact on the entire family’s feelings and emotions, and a child has a right to know about anything that impacts the family. Because children are highly sensitive to tension and stress, they may detect when something is wrong. If you try to protect them by being silent to an illness, they may become concerned that something even worse is taking place.
With the current state of the world in the hands of a pandemic and loss of lives all around us, sharing the news with your children can be a high task.
It is important to talk to your child
If you don’t talk about your illness, it may send the message that it’s a taboo subject, and youngsters may develop an overblown dread of illness in the future. Children may learn the truth from someone else, or they may receive incorrect and terrifying information through television, the internet, or other media. If children are not informed, they may feel alone.
Even the most heartbreaking revelations will be preferable than the uncertainty of not knowing what is going on. We can’t make someone happy, but we can help them feel better by sharing our feelings and providing information about what’s going on.
Children are sensitive to responsive feelings
Children are skilled at detecting objects, but their interpretations of what they mean may be incorrect. ‘Nan died in the hospital,’ for example. ‘Mom immediately had to go to the hospital after that. She’ll leave me as well.’
”I was irritated with Mummy when she instructed me to pick up my toys,’ for example. ”She became ill after that. Perhaps I made her sick.”
Children who are familiar with the circumstance can be a source of comfort to you. You won’t have to constantly watch what you say or feel secretive and secluded in your own home. Openness might help you all feel more connected.
Adults frequently underestimate children’s ability to deal with the reality. They may become nervous as a result of their lack of knowledge.
It can be tough to talk to children about your sickness, and it can be stressful for both you and the child. Involving children in the issue and informing them of what is going on, on the other hand, can be quite beneficial to them and can help them manage better with the disease.
Children can learn about the body, illness, treatment, and healing while dealing with a major illness in the family. They can learn how to deal with challenging feelings and how to be strong in the face of adversity.
Basic concerns to keep in mind
Discuss with the other parent
- It is indeed critical that both parents consider the backdrop of your child’s life, as well as how the news and illness will effect them. So that you’re prepared to deal with the practical and emotional consequences.
- Find a moment when you can sit for a long time and focus solely on your child. Even if you don’t need much time, it’s better to have it than not. At the same time, keep in mind that this is only the first of many chats; you do not need to share every detail.
- It’s fine to start with a high-level summary and then return to it later in subsequent conversations.
Be discreet in your approach
- Consider your child’s age and developmental stage. Younger children will be unable to comprehend or handle much. Although, adolescents will be able to comprehend much more and will desire and need to know much more.
- Younger children are more concrete, and they may be concerned not only about catching the illness, but also that it is their responsibility.
- Older children are capable of comprehending greater nuance and complexity, and they will have completely different concerns.
- Consult your paediatrician if you’re not sure where your child falls on the developmental spectrum.
Be patient and logical
- Maintain a straightforward and simple approach. Even older kids can be overloaded by a large amount of information.
An example of how you can kickstart the conversation-
“Papa isn’t feeling well. He’ll be in the hospital for quite some time. Doctors are attempting to assist him.”
“Daddy is suffering from cancer. He has it in his lungs. He’s being tested in the hospital as they find out the best method to treat him.”
Simple terminology and sentences should be used.
Maintain your calm
- Don’t try to hide your emotions. Say something if you’re upset or worried. You want your youngster to understand that it’s okay to be upset.
- As you progress through the scenario, you’ll need to discover healthy ways to cope with your unhappiness and anxiety. Your child will be watching for clues.
- When it comes to assisting both you and your child, a mental health expert can be quite beneficial.
Things to remember while explaining a serious illness
Soothe child’s fears by assuring them that nothing they did or said contributed to their loved one’s illness. Explain to youngsters that if the illness is not contagious, they will not be able to “catch” it.
Help youngsters understand what restrictions or measures they must take before visiting if the sickness is communicable. Having to wear a mask is an example.
Offer them the option of visiting the hospital or participating in the medical aspects of your loved one’s treatment when it is suitable.
Note- Allow your child to act younger when they do. It is seen that when children experience stress or a change in their routine, they go back to behaviours they had grown above.
Choose the option of playing
Create opportunities for children to play. Many children use play to express and work through their emotions. Misconceptions are frequently uncovered through gaming.
It’s critical for guardians to keep an eye out and listen for concerns or sentiments that arise while playing that they can help with.
Children, like adults, require a vacation from stress and other negative emotions. For such type of getaway, playing can be a fantastic option.
Maintain as much organisation and routine as possible. If routines must change and new people are added to the schedule, talk to your kids about it. For instance, your family, friends or even co-workers.
What to do if your child is an infant
When anything is wrong in their home, even the tiniest children can sense it. Even if they don’t grasp what’s going on like older children or adults, infants are sensitive to their caregivers’ emotions.
When a caregiver is extremely ill or hospitalised, a baby’s need for trust and security might be compromised owing to changes or interruptions in their daily routine.
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