Letting your child know they are adopted is a sensitive topic. It could make anyone sweat. Parents need to show extra care and thought because one wrong word could be disastrous in such sensitive situations. However, things can get easy if you follow these proven and correct ways to let your child know they are adopted.
Thus, Podium brings you another life-changing article that will be helpful to a lot of parents out there.
Build a bond with them
Methods to Let Your Child Know They are Adopted
Knowing the correct methods to let know child know they are adopted becomes very crucial as minor details are also required to consider. Also, It is a process that parents need to take after a certain age for their child, and slowly working on it as a process and gradually truly opening up to their child about adoption. This technique is called scaffolding!
Use Resources
Use resources such as the internet, a psychologist, parenting programmes, and all such similar means. This will help you widen your knowledge of the subject matter. How the children think, at what age should you tell them, and how to build on the adoption story. It is a process. Working on this since a child’s early childhood is always better.
Use as many resources as you can, it is always recommended to take help from professionals to ease your way through a complex process such as breaking it your child that they are adopted.
Keep it Simple
Simplicity and truth are your greatest path guiders. Try to keep things as simple as you can. The thing is kids don’t need to know too much information ahead of their age and understanding. However, The best way to enter the process of telling your kids they are adopted is simple- keep it simple.
However, be careful of the language and words that you use. But even a slight miscommunication could lead to great misunderstandings. Thus, it is always suggested to rehearse in your head what you are going to say before breaking it to your child.
Do not Conceal it
As stated in the above point, truth is your biggest path guider. Never try to conceal your kids about their adoption. It is inevitable for them to find out that they are adopted. And believe me, it is going to hurt them a lot if they get to know about their adoption from someone else or some other way than their parents. Thus, it becomes necessary to keep them aware of their reality.
Never hide
Do not bad-mouth their biological parents
Firstly, It is always advised to say to not speak ill of their biological parents. The reason is you don’t want your children to feel unwanted and unloved in any way possible. Thus, it becomes extremely important to tell how and why their birth parents couldn’t care for them.
You can use financial problems as a reason, or how your parents couldn’t stay together, therefore, they didn’t decide to live with their child.
Build a Bond with your Kids
This is the most crucial part. Building a bond with your kids through time is important whether they are adopted or not. However, it becomes even more important if your kids are adopted. For an adopted child, this sense of security and belonging can be extra important to establish a secure attachment with adoptive parents. Take efforts and make sure that you are connected to your kids, and create an ever-lasting bond with them. Go out for breakfast or lunch or dinner, whatever is appropriate and suitable to you. Having a great bond with your kids is the best thing you can do. Take a look at this article especially created to highlight the importance of parent-child communication.
Enjoy with them
Comfort & Physical Closeness
Make sure your kids feel comfort and physical closeness, this is what helps them to truly consider you as their parents. This step becomes even more crucial if the child has come from a big foster home because it means they have experienced comfort and physical closeness. Therefore, you have to make sure that they don’t feel left out or lonely.
Even though children and adolescents may have different needs or preferences when it comes to physicality, the adoptive parents will get to know their child and find many meaningful ways to connect. Hugging your child, holding their hands, these small efforts could go a long way for you and your child.
Give them some time
Your child will not come to terms with the fact that they are adopted immediately. Give them some time to cope with it and them out. As long as you answer their questions honestly and lovingly, they will learn to embrace them with positivity.
Answer all the questions
Your child will have a million questions in his or her head. Let her take his time and ask all the questions. Answer all the questions patiently even if she keeps asking them repeatedly for a few days, weeks and months. Make him feel that it is normal and nothing to be ashamed about.
Never Treat them different
Conclusion
Adoption can be a wonderful addition to your family, wonderful for the child. It is helpful to use the word, ‘adoption’ even when the children are very young. It helps them in being familiar with the word. Although, sharing with your child that they are adopted is an ongoing process. So that means something that you might let them know about adoption at age four, they may not understand until they are a lot older. It will lead to them start having more questions about adoption over the years as they get older.
There’s a lot of great resources out there for families which we fully endorse and promote to get help from. In terms of sharing adoption, age-appropriate books that have been written, etc. all help in making the lives of the parents simpler in this sensitive situation.
